Over-Parenting: Under the Lens

Terms such as “helicopter mom” have received considerable attention because they describe a series of parenting strategies that place excessive emphasis on the perceived needs of a child and are counterproductive to youth development. In “Can A Parent Do Too Much For Their Child? An Examination by Parenting Professionals of the Concept of Over-Parenting,” authors Judith Locke, Marilyn Campbell, and David Kavanagh survey members of two associations of guidance counselors and psychologists to identify examples of “over-parenting.” The researchers found that professionals could agree on a range of actions that are indicative of over-parenting.

The analysis hinges on the hypothesis that over-parenting is the extension of normally appropriate parenting strategies to an unhealthy degree. An online survey asked participants if they had observed parents “overusing valued parenting practices like monitoring, protection, or caring for their children,” or if they were involved with parents who did not change their attitudes or expectations as their child developed. Nearly two-thirds reported some experience with these types of behavior.

The authors utilized the research on parental approaches and children’s wellbeing advanced by Diana Baumrind—parental responsiveness and parental demandingness—as key measures for understanding the authoritative parenting style, and they categorized participant observations based on their deviation from this method. If, as one respondent notes, a parent continues to prepare “massive meals for adult children in their twenties,” the researchers assigned a classification of “low-demandingness,” indicating that the parent placed low demands on the child to develop maturity.

Extending this analysis to the field of examples provided by eighty-six professionals, the authors narrow in on a definition of over-parenting, reducing the practices associated with the term in professional circles to six central themes: reduced expectations of performance, over-attentiveness, over-attentiveness paired with low-accountability, high demands, high demands with limited trust in their child’s problem-solving capabilities, and specific qualities of the parent or child. Locke et al characterize a range of actions symptomatic of excessive parenting and delimit a space for further analysis of what levels of parental protection could be counterproductive.

While they do not venture an exact definition of over-parenting, the study clarifies the connection between misapplication of the authoritative approach, high levels of responsiveness to high demands for child success, and an underlying tendency to deny children self-sufficiency and determination. As an example of this kind of relationship, a parent may expect their child to place into the best classes and monitor performance accordingly. However, if their child does not earn a spot, they quickly extend blame to teachers and the school administration without examining the role of their child in the decision.

Limitations to the study do exist and, in relative terms, some difficulty arises in criticizing parents for caring too much for their kids. At the same time, the projected outcomes for children who face highly attentive parents with limited expectations probably do not conform to the intent of parents who act in this way. A more precise definition of over-parenting may benefit these guardians who, in their eagerness to provide security and ensure success, may hinder a child’s maturity. The authors conclude that additional research should identify optimal level of parental involvement and critically evaluate the idea that increased parental effort always lead to improvements in child well-being.

Photo credit: cc/Susan NYC